Kev, just got back from Cuba...again...I know you'd be complaining about the money spent, but I just needed to go back. I know you were with me.
Remember how every time we'd go away, and do the tours, we'd always pick the "guy" tours. The ones where we got to do a bit of everything. Remember how I'd say I've always wanted to swim with the dolphins? Well, this time I did it, and I know you were there. I saw the butterfly on the walk back to the resort. You were just reminding me you were there with me. I still can't believe that you're REALLY not here. I don't know when I will. But, at least you keep giving me the signs that what I'm doing is ok. And these things I'm doing for you. I love you Kev. I miss you more than I can ever express in words. But, you know. You know how much I miss you. It's just so hard to be here without you.
As I sit here thinking about me turning 40 I cant help but think of all the times you were a hugh part of my b-days, helping Mom to give me the "wacks" or the butter on the nose, or buying my first 6-pack of beer for my ??th birthday. Sure wish things were different my friend, your the best.
Kev, we took your trip for you. The night we got there, we took a drink, went to the beach at sunset and had a drink for you. This should have been your trip. You wanted to go back so badly.
It was so hard to be there without you. To see other happy couples together. But I know you were there with me. We took the school supplies to the preschool and kindergarten and got to spend the whole morning there. The children were beautiful, and you were right. They have so little, but are so happy. Just goes to show it's not what you have that matters, but who shares it with you.
We took the Jeep Safari for you too. Jason drove like a bat out of hell, just like you. We did get the slowest "speed" boat, and we all had a chuckle of what your exact words would be if you were driving the boat. We saved some of the school supplies and gave them out to the children in the villages surrounding Varadero.
I know you were there with me. The sun shone, the wind blew and I felt the ocean spray on my face. If only you could really be here with me. How much I miss you I can never say. How much I love you I can never say.
I hope we made you proud babe.
I was reading your homemade Valentine's Day card you gave me last year. You came home from work and gave it to me, so silly proud, just like a kid. You gave it to me and said "whaddya think?". I told you I think I love it. The best part about it was the spelling. You never were that good at spelling...."having you to share my love with makes my life wirthwild"...
You're all mine, that's what I always say.
I love you.
Well Kev...should have been 7 years married this year, but instead it's 7 months today since I've heard you say I love you. Not one time did we ever go to bed, or wake up in the morning, without saying I love you. Even if we had an argument, we always did. I still do, every morning and every night, just like always. I know that you are saying it too.
Got my hair cut yesterday. Like, really cut. I hope you like it.
Remember how when I would get it cut, I'd come home, and every single time, you'd say "how come it looks shorter???"...you never wanted it too short, and you loved when I wore it down. Said I should have more, and I'd tell you that you didn't have to wash and dry this mop of hair...
